Last Updated on February 6, 2017 by Morris Green

Receiving an HIV diagnoses can feel like a death sentence. Even with all of the medical advancements that can make life with HIV long, healthy, and enjoyable, we haven’t made nearly as much progress addressing the stigma that comes with the disease. It’s this bias, as much as any medical factor, that many people are afraid of when they’re diagnosed. Will their friends be afraid of them? What will their parents say? Dating, in particular, can feel like it’s no longer an option. Luckily there are tried and true methods—eleven we’re about to cover—to deal with these questions and help navigate life after an HIV diagnosis.

#1: Know Your Facts

Start by learning as much as you can about your condition in order to explain it to someone else. Being knowledgeable on the subject will put others at ease. You don’t need to become an expert in medical terminology; you just need to be able to speak with authority when answering questions people have about your diagnosis.

First, let’s be clear about who you should and maybe shouldn’t tell. You need to contact your current and past sexual partners, or anyone that you’ve shared needles with. If you are concerned that sharing this information with someone may put you in danger, contact your local health department for assistance. Many of them offer a service that will notify people of their likelihood of exposure to HIV without revealing the source.

You may want to tell your friends, children, or others if you feel that their knowing will provide support. If you don’t feel safe or comfortable telling someone, you have no obligation to do so. Your diagnosis shouldn’t be a burden that you carry alone, but if you have doubts that someone will be supportive after finding out, it may be better not to tell them.

#2: Understanding Transmission

Let people know that their risk of contracting the virus. HIV can’t be transmitted by sharing clothes, tools, or any other household items. Sneezing, coughing, and even kissing (as long as you don’t both have open mouth sores) are also very safe. Know your viral load, and have a short, simple explanation of what that is and what it means in terms of your likelihood of transmitting the virus.

#3: Seeking Treatment

You are under no obligation to share your medical treatment plans with anyone, but your loved ones may feel comforted to know that you are being taken care of. If you can, find a couple of short phrases that let people know what treatment options you’re using. Something as simple as, “My doctors have given me the best medications available. We have great confidence that I’ll live a long, healthy life,” can go a long way to soothing a worried friend.

#4: Explaining Symptoms

If you are experiencing symptoms of HIV or any of its associated illnesses, your friends, and loved ones may worry that your condition is more severe than it really is. Or, your condition may be declining even though you seem perfectly healthy to an outsider. It’s difficult to talk about being sick, but ignoring it only increases your discomfort and that of your support network. Be as frank and straightforward about your symptoms as possible. Your attitude will set the tone for the people around you.

#5: Finding Support

One of the greatest assets you can have during difficult times is a strong support network. Having friends who can listen to you when things get difficult and bring levity into your life when the world seems dark is invaluable. You can build this safety net from the people you already know, but for many, reaching out to others who are also HIV positive is helpful.

#6: Your Current Network

Often people find that, after telling their friends about their diagnosis, their friends become distant. This can happen for many reasons, most often because people simply don’t know what to say or do to help. You can make it easier for them to support you by being specific about what brings comfort. If you just need a listening ear, don’t be afraid to say so. When someone offers their support, accept!

#7: Finding New Support

There are more resources for HIV-positive people to connect with than ever before. If you are having a hard time finding a group in your area, ask your doctor, your local health department, or your counselor. Finding a therapist who specializes in treating people with serious illnesses can also be beneficial. If your HIV diagnosis comes while you are working with a substance abuse counselor in an addiction program, ask them for help locating local resources and support.

#8: Maximizing Health

As you surely have been told by your doctor, many people with HIV live very long and healthy lives. You can increase your odds of being one of those people by taking care of your health in every way possible. Taking simple, easy steps to improve your overall health will improve your body’s ability to fight the virus.

#9: Overhaul Your Diet

Many HIV patients struggle with weight loss related to symptoms of HIV or the illnesses that accompany it. If you’re having trouble keeping weight on, talk to your doctor or a nutritionist that specializes in HIV and AIDS patients. Simply increasing calories may be sufficient. If you experience nausea or loss of appetite, try splitting your meals up into several smaller meals throughout the day. Make sure your diet is high in fiber, as this helps with many of the stomach ailments that are common to HIV patients.

#10: Try Meditation

Mood swings and depression are very common after the diagnosis of any serious illness. Meditation, in whatever form you choose, is often helpful in improving both of these conditions. If you’re not interested in traditional meditation, yoga, chanting, and tai chi all offer the same benefits. The perks are numerous: improved mood, better sleep, more energy. Interestingly, Psychology Today reports that some studies show humor can do the same thing. If meditation just isn’t for you, try comedic movies, shows, or audiobooks. You may find that they help lift you out of the doldrums.

#11: Exercise

The benefits of physical activity are hard to overstate. If you’re experiencing a dull appetite, lethargy, or depression, regular exercise can help. Even if you aren’t having any symptoms, keeping your heart and lungs healthy through exercise will improve your ability to fight off colds and the flu, off of which could become dangerous. Finally, dedicated physical activity guarantees that you’re taking time out for yourself which is extremely important to your mental health.

These eleven ways to cope with HIV are only the beginning of your journey to accepting and handling an HIV diagnosis. You will face many hurdles, but with a strong support network, information that empowers, and a plan to address your whole-body health, you will be well on your way to making HIV just a footnote in the story of your life, not the headline.